It is month2 of FYP and morale is tangibly lower than from the start. I, for one, have completed roughly less than 5% and that speed is probably not going to increase any time soon. Unconsciously, my brain has developed new fun ways of making me forget the stress temporarily. I have started going getting fit crazy, a combination of swimming, gymming, and yoga, at least once a week from the standard once a month 'training'. and crazily after these physically straining workout, we do work again till the wee hours of the morning! skyping and all, but its kinda silly cause brenda and i dont even talk cause we dont want to be noisy. theres just blank poker faces even though we type HAHAHA!! or LOL. But it causes huge bouts of hunger where me and B splurge on food and the 'exercise' is more or less negligible. I feel trapped in this vicious cycle, like the milk and cereal vicious cycle. It's annoying and worrying, I'm scared I won't be able to complete whatever shit I have to do for interim 2...
Oh yes, there is this sudden urge to attend kickboxing classes but dammit those classes are insanely expensive!! But ooooo i want to hit something and really really am considering going back to wu shu again... Grrr I want a rich husband who also does housework lol.
Other than that are the scary dreams-that-come-true thing that's been going on. When ever I dream of water, whether its a puddle or tsunami or a shower, some natural disaster that involves water always appears on the news the next day or night on the news!! It's freaky thing but also interesting, lets see how many times more a similar hint will happen~ I have a theory! Maybe it's my sixth sense heightening cause of the world's gonna end thing going on lol, OR it's that I've inherited my mum's kind-of-fortune-telling ability. Uh huh my mum is really sensitive to stuff that will happen whether is in the family or on the news, it's difficult to explain and I'm lazy to, sooooooooo....
You know the fridge in my house is one of the biggest distracters for me. Walking to it in the middle of work is common, even if I don't take anything from it. The walk to the fridge then opening and closing the door is like a break and calming something to my tired eyeballs lol. If one day they design a machine or drug that recharges your eyeballs in minutes oh that will be a best seller for decades till they design something that recharges the whole body~
Allora~ apart from design, I've a sudden interest in learning social sciences. Just realized in the shower one day that other than drawing, I've always observed people. Yea I do interact with people but I generally like to stand at a not awkward distance and just observe. But I do not want to become like Terence. Long story of disappointment and hate~ of course I'm not saying Everyone from HSS is like him but still~ sigh thinking about the future when I can't even cope with the present. And those hormones of mine, coupled with stress, is making me cranky on a number of things~
Allora, shall sleep now and try to wake early to cram some work, ciao!
Ps: for those who do not know what the milk and cereal vicious cycle is...
It's a situation where a particular box of cereal uses about 5/6 of a big bottle of milk. But the left over milk is quite a lot too and because non of my family members particularly like drinking milk, unless with cereal, the only option is to buy another box of cereal. But then there is it enough milk!! So you buy another bottle of milk which is a big bottle because its cheaper and there is left over milk after finishing the cereal... So you see the cycle repeats. And that is the milk and cereal vicious cycle.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Bad remedy syndrome
Its been a while since I've even thought about relationships like maybe the better all of 2 years, give or take a few months~ well the first well not really first but yea I guess counted but not counted probably a fling, keeps coming back to be in weird instances where I least expected it to. I have a simple theory. Post Fucking Menstrual Syndrome. It's messing with my head and maybe a partial catalyst is the copious amount of sugar I've been consuming these past few weeks, makes my brain go on overdrive. And I haven't even started on coffee yet!
Yea but back to the him* I keep thinking about. Whenever something emotionally unsavory appears in my life, if bad enough, I always use that time* to block out the stress. Kind o like self-hypnosis on a semi unconscious level. But this time I can't figure out the trigger, like the main trigger for all this drama that is my life. FYP? I think I can handle it~ my mum? Same thing there~ so yea, my problem these few days~ sigh... ...
Well he was cute and all but we didn't mesh even in the beginning, and a couple more analogues I will not mention, but it's really funny mean ones hahaz. So why do I keep thinking about that idiot?? Trigger trigger trigger~
And that's my bad remedy syndrome, the endless cycle that bites you in the ass
Yea but back to the him* I keep thinking about. Whenever something emotionally unsavory appears in my life, if bad enough, I always use that time* to block out the stress. Kind o like self-hypnosis on a semi unconscious level. But this time I can't figure out the trigger, like the main trigger for all this drama that is my life. FYP? I think I can handle it~ my mum? Same thing there~ so yea, my problem these few days~ sigh... ...
Well he was cute and all but we didn't mesh even in the beginning, and a couple more analogues I will not mention, but it's really funny mean ones hahaz. So why do I keep thinking about that idiot?? Trigger trigger trigger~
And that's my bad remedy syndrome, the endless cycle that bites you in the ass
Friday, September 14, 2012
How I met your mother
I cannot believe I wasted half a year not watching this tv show. I blame myself. I judge too easily. I beg your pardon oh god of awesome tv shows, please do continue to shower love by creating more amazing tv shows like GOT and HIMYM and TBBT. The world needs humour now more than ever. As such, 2012 is close coming to an end and the world is still here, may it continue to be so.
First clubbing experience
My first time~
People always say clubbing is a bad thing since I was young. Its been drilled into my head that clubbing will destroy your life. Alcoholic, drug addict, drinks get spiked, genna rape~ sure everyone has heard one or more of these about the oh so scary club.
Well it wasn't that bad~ went clubbing with SH darling and her friends (whom I have never met in my life but are nice people) last friday or the friday before, can't remember because boss has been swamping me with work these last few weeks. Anyway it was after work that I went home, freshened up, fused over what I should wear, and then met up with darling at vivo at 10pm. Loved how the train was wonderfully empty. It was really quiet inside. No one talked on the phone, or sneezed, not even music from headphones could be heard. It was like a silent apocalypse. 2 weeks after and I can still remember that.
Anyway, after I arrived 15 minutes late as usual (sorry darling) darling and I chionged to st james powerhouse. I was so excited, embarrassing yea, unlike the cool headed me~ hahaz. As most of my friends know, i am really awkward around strangers and people I hardly know. I tend to use my default face a lot, the one that looks like im scowling~ But darling's friends were extraordinarily nice! This coming from a socially awkward person, thanks guys ^^ Of course that all changed when we hit the dance floor hahaz, but more on that later. In total, our group had 5 girls and 2 guys, pretty safe? hahaz
Everyone drank Chivas with coke, tasted horrid, but ah well, they said it was to get high so ... bottoms up. You could see after a few drinks some people were either getting sleepy or talking slightly louder~ Movements started to turn sluggish, it was all so fascinating to watch! Darling was one of the few who got sleepy hahaz. I myself was holding up pretty well, but when you look at the photo hmmmmm.... looks sleepy, but I highly contribute it to my naturally lined eyes, if you know what I mean. sigh~ they really are 2 dashes on my face~
A whole bottle of Chivas and coke and several nuggets later, it was off to the club! I really really really hate the part of the club outside that people smoke in. It is a miasma of nicotine and god knows what else is in those little wrapped pieces of paper. It was a small club, nothing extra fancy, ok ok lights. The music was pounding in my ears the whole time. When some techno version of a great song starts up, it is ball cringing and... sigh~ but the music wasn't all together too bad most of the time. Man did we rock it out on the dance floor! I mean what up hahaz
Really squeezy though and at one time this girl was grinding me urgh, nit an experience I thought i'd have. Ever.
Ok this time I admit I was a little high. Just look at that eye liner lol. I seriously couldn't control my movements as well as I usually did, darling had to help me out with my eyes liner mess lol
After 6 hours of non stop dancing, I think we still looked ok hahaz. Well that concluded my first clubbing experience, or so I thought... It was still about 5 am, so we had to wait an hour more before the buses or trains were in service again. So the best place to crash? Macdonalds~ It was a wipe out lol!! half of us were heads flat on the table snoozing. So. Dam. Tired. 3 days after that? Still. Dam. Tired. and I think my hearing was irrecovably destroyed, because every time I covered my ears I could hear a constant string of static...!
But it was fun and I can't wait to go again! This time maybe just with darlings and L? Its easier to dance with people who know your dance patterns, and in general people whom you know. Actually I want to club with err onglai? powerrangers? c gang? I don't even know what we are called anymore~ lol its interesting to watch people go into party mode~
Thanks to the awesome people who watched out for me in the club! ^^
Ciao~
People always say clubbing is a bad thing since I was young. Its been drilled into my head that clubbing will destroy your life. Alcoholic, drug addict, drinks get spiked, genna rape~ sure everyone has heard one or more of these about the oh so scary club.
Well it wasn't that bad~ went clubbing with SH darling and her friends (whom I have never met in my life but are nice people) last friday or the friday before, can't remember because boss has been swamping me with work these last few weeks. Anyway it was after work that I went home, freshened up, fused over what I should wear, and then met up with darling at vivo at 10pm. Loved how the train was wonderfully empty. It was really quiet inside. No one talked on the phone, or sneezed, not even music from headphones could be heard. It was like a silent apocalypse. 2 weeks after and I can still remember that.
Anyway, after I arrived 15 minutes late as usual (sorry darling) darling and I chionged to st james powerhouse. I was so excited, embarrassing yea, unlike the cool headed me~ hahaz. As most of my friends know, i am really awkward around strangers and people I hardly know. I tend to use my default face a lot, the one that looks like im scowling~ But darling's friends were extraordinarily nice! This coming from a socially awkward person, thanks guys ^^ Of course that all changed when we hit the dance floor hahaz, but more on that later. In total, our group had 5 girls and 2 guys, pretty safe? hahaz
Everyone drank Chivas with coke, tasted horrid, but ah well, they said it was to get high so ... bottoms up. You could see after a few drinks some people were either getting sleepy or talking slightly louder~ Movements started to turn sluggish, it was all so fascinating to watch! Darling was one of the few who got sleepy hahaz. I myself was holding up pretty well, but when you look at the photo hmmmmm.... looks sleepy, but I highly contribute it to my naturally lined eyes, if you know what I mean. sigh~ they really are 2 dashes on my face~
A whole bottle of Chivas and coke and several nuggets later, it was off to the club! I really really really hate the part of the club outside that people smoke in. It is a miasma of nicotine and god knows what else is in those little wrapped pieces of paper. It was a small club, nothing extra fancy, ok ok lights. The music was pounding in my ears the whole time. When some techno version of a great song starts up, it is ball cringing and... sigh~ but the music wasn't all together too bad most of the time. Man did we rock it out on the dance floor! I mean what up hahaz
Really squeezy though and at one time this girl was grinding me urgh, nit an experience I thought i'd have. Ever.
Make up in the toilet~
After 6 hours of non stop dancing, I think we still looked ok hahaz. Well that concluded my first clubbing experience, or so I thought... It was still about 5 am, so we had to wait an hour more before the buses or trains were in service again. So the best place to crash? Macdonalds~ It was a wipe out lol!! half of us were heads flat on the table snoozing. So. Dam. Tired. 3 days after that? Still. Dam. Tired. and I think my hearing was irrecovably destroyed, because every time I covered my ears I could hear a constant string of static...!
But it was fun and I can't wait to go again! This time maybe just with darlings and L? Its easier to dance with people who know your dance patterns, and in general people whom you know. Actually I want to club with err onglai? powerrangers? c gang? I don't even know what we are called anymore~ lol its interesting to watch people go into party mode~
Thanks to the awesome people who watched out for me in the club! ^^
Ciao~
Sunday, September 9, 2012
I can be nice and polite but do not fuck with me
I realize I may not be the nicest person in the world 24/7 when I get really annoyed and then pissed, especially when my period is 4 weeks late. This right here, is a boiling turmoil of hormonal frustration and don't fuck with me-ness. With added work related stress and a recent reaction to the haze, coupled with the flu i caught, that turmoil ain't going no where near fluffy cloud town with a pretty rainbow. No teletubies gonna run over the hill. So yea mum today, or this weekend where I have been sick and am in the worst possible mood for another one of your "why are you so lazy, your father has just worked a 12 hour shift and you just sit there while he does the dishes" yea mum, I despicably refused to wash the dishes because my hands DO NOT react to the dishwashing soap, NOT BECAUSE I may be dripping mucus every fucking 10 seconds, ESPECIALLY NOT when I'm having a fever, and OF COURSE NOT BECAUSE I'm in a pissy mood. Oh and one more thing, amongst the three children that you conceived, am I the only one not at home on the weekend. Am I not the only one who ate dinner, was I the one who flushed the toilet with the sit up when someone's towel was so obviously just above. Fuck this shit, I try to be understanding and I try to not be a selfish bitch, but woman, some days you make me wanna shove it in your face how much of a selfish bitch I can be and have the potential to be if you keep messing with my mental stability at the moment.
But seriously, it must be so awesome to be a selfish lying son of a bitch with no conscience. You die with no regrets. But maybe I'm thinking too much and it's the hormones inducing this kind I reaction to an otherwise daily routine where my mother speaks to me like I'm the only child she bore whom has to be the dutiful daughter who takes care of the house 24/7 like I don't have a life and this is not my weekend off fighting a flu and the fucking haze. Yes my two brothers are not people, they are fuckin princes in their ivory tower. Oh boo hoo one hates his job and is miserable, ad the other is having an awesome time partying and forsaking his future, yea mum I know but maybe I have problems too? Yea I don't blather on about my problems or brood miserably, but at least I try to deal with them on my own. That DOES NOT mean I have to listen to every single person's fucking problem in the family. Yes I'm nice and listen to all that crap frequently because I am stuck in the same beadroom as you but give me some fuckin space. Just a little? Is that so much to ask. I really need to blow off some steam but guess what, I feel like crap because I an sick. The world is so full of fucking clichés. I need to beat up something an make it cry to complete the package.
But seriously, it must be so awesome to be a selfish lying son of a bitch with no conscience. You die with no regrets. But maybe I'm thinking too much and it's the hormones inducing this kind I reaction to an otherwise daily routine where my mother speaks to me like I'm the only child she bore whom has to be the dutiful daughter who takes care of the house 24/7 like I don't have a life and this is not my weekend off fighting a flu and the fucking haze. Yes my two brothers are not people, they are fuckin princes in their ivory tower. Oh boo hoo one hates his job and is miserable, ad the other is having an awesome time partying and forsaking his future, yea mum I know but maybe I have problems too? Yea I don't blather on about my problems or brood miserably, but at least I try to deal with them on my own. That DOES NOT mean I have to listen to every single person's fucking problem in the family. Yes I'm nice and listen to all that crap frequently because I am stuck in the same beadroom as you but give me some fuckin space. Just a little? Is that so much to ask. I really need to blow off some steam but guess what, I feel like crap because I an sick. The world is so full of fucking clichés. I need to beat up something an make it cry to complete the package.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Is it weird if you talk to yourself in your head?
I find I tend to talk in my mind instead of talking out loud. This occurs exponentially especially when i'm reading a book in first character. Is this normal or weird~ I guess its normal considering my introvert nature. Many a time I just float off thinking about random stuff until something interesting happens and then I come back down to earth to think about what just happened. People misunderstand and take it badly thinking i'm being rude. In a way it is true since I don't have a big attention span and don't really go out of the way to entertain unless I really want to. Which is a basic reaction every living thing with a brain and social structure would have. So I am what I am, screw you~ Just complaining in general~
Anyway in other news, the tv series 'community' is the hottest thing to rock my world amidst this boring and uninspiring SIP so far. This show is seriously funny and I love love love the character Abed. I mean, how does he do all that with a straight face. Love the character Annie too! cant believe she is 29 years old. Some people are just blessed with youthful features.
Sigh~ my working environment is so starved of youth its suffocating~
Other than a guy who sells wanton mee at the kopitiam and a scenario on the bus, nada. ziltch. zero. until earlier on the bus again hahaz. Cute guy with roller blades and nice arms hahaz. I really need to keep up my dance routine to fight all these urges lol. But seriously it helps~ Hormonal rage~
Man oh man my shoulders where aching so bad from all the books i was carrying in my bag - four huge, heavy paper weight, wonderful photography and illustration books. Beautiful things ae hard to come by~
Oh yeah, is it just my house or is the water is tasting really weird these days. And the water in my house is filtered and boiled so i'm really worrying about it. Not to mentioned not 2 weeks ago I did an assignment on drugs in recycled paper. oh man the irony~ ah well better get back to work, Ciao!
Anyway in other news, the tv series 'community' is the hottest thing to rock my world amidst this boring and uninspiring SIP so far. This show is seriously funny and I love love love the character Abed. I mean, how does he do all that with a straight face. Love the character Annie too! cant believe she is 29 years old. Some people are just blessed with youthful features.
Sigh~ my working environment is so starved of youth its suffocating~
Other than a guy who sells wanton mee at the kopitiam and a scenario on the bus, nada. ziltch. zero. until earlier on the bus again hahaz. Cute guy with roller blades and nice arms hahaz. I really need to keep up my dance routine to fight all these urges lol. But seriously it helps~ Hormonal rage~
Man oh man my shoulders where aching so bad from all the books i was carrying in my bag - four huge, heavy paper weight, wonderful photography and illustration books. Beautiful things ae hard to come by~
Oh yeah, is it just my house or is the water is tasting really weird these days. And the water in my house is filtered and boiled so i'm really worrying about it. Not to mentioned not 2 weeks ago I did an assignment on drugs in recycled paper. oh man the irony~ ah well better get back to work, Ciao!
Monday, July 9, 2012
The emo teenager Emerges Again
I am why I am. It is a constant struggle to remind myself of what is it that truly defines my being. Countless hours persuing what I love and when I return to earth it is not what everyone talks about. To try hard for others is what some may consider strength. But strength requires energy, and energy comes from drive, and drive from purpose. I have lost that purpose. A flicker of it appears once in a while in the shower or just before sleep, but there is no constant purpose in my life. Humans with no purpose cannot survive in this man made world. They shrivel and die and return to the earth. I fear to end this way and must hence forth find meaning again in my life's struggles. I seek a higher purpose, a will to live. I seek just happiness in this black hole. May I find it soon before my fire is completely gone.
Dayum this post is depressing~
My weird priorities in life
Not long ago, I had a nightmare. It was cold sweat, heart hammering, ball-shrinking (not that I have any) nightmare. Well, as many are aware of my natural born talent for forgetting things, it is also known I unconsciously make double plans by mistake. This nightmare was not about screwing up two plans but literally plans with all my beloved friends. As you can imagine it was horrifying. Toughts like, "I'll be a lonely bastard for eternity", "I'm so screwed" passed through my brain till I woke up from all that damnable adrenaline. So no, it was not a big scary monster under my bed, though I admit that was one of the more popular childhood villains that haunted my every just-before-sleeping times. How's that, maybe I am maturing more now. From a child with an over imaginative mind to a somewhat bimbo with an over imaginative mind. Whoopee~
What I thought and believed then, is not what I think and believe now. No one thought, no matter how turbulent an emotion can ever stay on the same level of saturation for all of eternity. At least, that is what I have come to understand during these almost-two decades of my life so far. The tides are ever changing but remains constant in cycle.
Monday, July 2, 2012
yummy yummy rub my tummy
I really want to bake this cake!! All that lemon sounds so yummy in my boring public speaking class and haven't eaten anything for over 12 hours sigh~
Sunday, July 1, 2012
I can feel myself changing...
It has been years since I have been insulted whether a small one or a big one. And it is ironic how the mot painful ones come from people I care about the most. In the past I would have just taken it, kept in inside like a poison, and let it out explosively once in a while when everything got too heavy to bear. But now, I don't even try to care, feelings I do not like I just ignore. There is no acknowledgement and therefore no apology. Which is a better reaction...? Or are both a sign of immaturity and that I have yet to find a perfect way of expressing my feelings.
People say to let out these emotions with an outlet of some kind that they feel comfortable in. For me that is dance. In these few weeks when I took it up again, my soul has never felt so light in years. To some of my friends it may seem as if I am just willful, trying to distract myself from my studies and taking a too long break from design. But I took a great deal of courage for me to even step back inside a dance studio. Fear of not being good enough to dance with others, or that my outfit was not 'dance' enough were my greatest obstacles I had to overcome slowly. But overcome them I have. And I do not take pleasure in comments from other people who do not understand how this had been a personal big step on my part. Of course I would feel indignant when you question my attempt at trying to right my confused emotional state. No pointing of fingers because this is as much an personal problem as it is an external one. It is said the quietest people are those who perceive the most ~ How painfully true.
Other than that, this Saturday was amazing! OneOkRock's concert was just mind blowing!! All of the members where so energetic and gave their all for the concert it was so touching ^^ The best part was when they played my favourite song from their very first album!! That made me sooooooo happy I can't even~!! Nothing beats a real live performance... ... Except when there is a 6 foot tall guy blocking your view zzz. Ah well, it was amazing nonetheless. Surprise surprise i didn't have any muscle ache form all the jumping and waving of the arms haha. No sore throat either~ Can't wait for them to perform again in Singapore^^
Sigh~ I really have to stop peeling my nail polish off my nails, its pulling thin pieces of the nail itself off
I should probably concentrate on my work now, Ciao!
People say to let out these emotions with an outlet of some kind that they feel comfortable in. For me that is dance. In these few weeks when I took it up again, my soul has never felt so light in years. To some of my friends it may seem as if I am just willful, trying to distract myself from my studies and taking a too long break from design. But I took a great deal of courage for me to even step back inside a dance studio. Fear of not being good enough to dance with others, or that my outfit was not 'dance' enough were my greatest obstacles I had to overcome slowly. But overcome them I have. And I do not take pleasure in comments from other people who do not understand how this had been a personal big step on my part. Of course I would feel indignant when you question my attempt at trying to right my confused emotional state. No pointing of fingers because this is as much an personal problem as it is an external one. It is said the quietest people are those who perceive the most ~ How painfully true.
Other than that, this Saturday was amazing! OneOkRock's concert was just mind blowing!! All of the members where so energetic and gave their all for the concert it was so touching ^^ The best part was when they played my favourite song from their very first album!! That made me sooooooo happy I can't even~!! Nothing beats a real live performance... ... Except when there is a 6 foot tall guy blocking your view zzz. Ah well, it was amazing nonetheless. Surprise surprise i didn't have any muscle ache form all the jumping and waving of the arms haha. No sore throat either~ Can't wait for them to perform again in Singapore^^
Sigh~ I really have to stop peeling my nail polish off my nails, its pulling thin pieces of the nail itself off
I should probably concentrate on my work now, Ciao!
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Red Apple - more to it then what you see
So I B and I baked a blueberry pie last week or so ~ could not resist taking lots of photos ~
But that was where the good stuff ended haha. B had a stomach ache and me and my mum had horrible headaches. Allora~ i guess there was too much preservatives in the blue berries, will need to wash them better next time, though I think i won't want to eat another blueberry at least for a while~
But that was where the good stuff ended haha. B had a stomach ache and me and my mum had horrible headaches. Allora~ i guess there was too much preservatives in the blue berries, will need to wash them better next time, though I think i won't want to eat another blueberry at least for a while~
Friday, June 15, 2012
15 more days to the awesomest day in my life
ITS ONEOKROCK!
Even the ticket looks so cool!!
The concert is gonna be on the 30th of June, yeah babe month of my birthday (its fate i tell you!) I've been imagining how the concert will be like ever since I bought the ticket and its making me so excited!! This is a peculiar feeling since I have never taken myself for a hardcore fan. The $88 was so worth it. I hope i'm not standing too far from the stage though since its free standing and all~ So happy I found their music before they became super famous hahaz. Feel good about myself only, omg its like the Kimbra thing too! Too indie for my comfort level~
Urgh I really need to get the english translations for their songs soon cause until today I have no idea what their songs are about most of the time lol, yet I love them so ^^ I guess quality preceds language boundaries. Ooooooo I have been their fan for about 4 years now waaaaaah... Okay i'm hungry now, Ciao!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Rant on Snow White and the Huntsman
Seriously.
Its just another disaster to your acting prospects Kristen. Do you watch your own acting? But the director is to blame too, i guess. Lousy plot, horrible acting, at the end of the show I, and most of the cinema, was like Whuuuuuuut??? What the hell did I just watch. The best actress was the evil queen. Now that is what I called a professional. Chris's acting was horrible too, but damn he looked so hot too. In the end the show was more a comedy than a dark fairytale. People were literally laughing at parts that were supposed to be sad, because it just didn't make any sense!! Albeit the graphics were spot on and amazing. So yeah, if you want to laugh at a joke of a dark fairytale filled with action and amazing animation, watch Snow White and the Huntsman. I guarantee there will be no nightmares.
woes of a freshly turned 19 year old
one more word and you won't survive...
So yeah i have a been a really really horrible friend to my darling for the past few months, last minute change of plans and being late for over 2 hours!! Darling was oozing the kill aura and yeah, if I were tree I would still be shaking. Why is it I always treat those closest to me the worst... it defies standard logic and is completely irrational~ nevertheless, i owe darling a meal haha. This adding on to the list of teh pings I owe another darling haha. When I grow up I wanna be rich rich rich. Stay calm now~ so yes the stress of finding a job for my impending internship has unfortunately been very bleak (no surprise) until a few days ago when finally got an interview at a company that is very far from my home. But all things considered, it could have been far far worse. I am disappointed that I couldn't get into a company that really suited my style of design, art, bah! I don't really care anymore. This course has turned out to be a giant lie and thoughts of just kicking the bucket are surfacing ever the more, recently. Nothing stays the same. Oh the shame of it, and cliche, too.
I feel like i'm stuck in the center of a see saw, either side tilting little by little... a little more and one side will fall all the way down. So caught in the tide of undesirable endings, its suffocating... Further more adding to the clutter of thoughts is the 'friendship' problem spreading like wild fire. Everyone is poking the embers as if its an exotic animal on display. Tensions rise and fall and then i feel so lucky to have a stable friendship with people i treat so poorly. Ironic how the most passionate relationships die the fastest. It was just a matter of time really, saw it coming long ago~
And now on a more selfish grumble~ THIS IS MY WORSE BIRTHDAY EVER. PERIOD.
First is that nobody seems to care, yeah yeah i'm needy (but i wouldn't go that far lol) but the worse part was when my folks didn't seem to care either. Yeah they want to get me a cake but all that time dragging and dragging the simple issue make me feel.... annoyed, spilling into angry. It feels so insincere i'm close to feeling disgusted, and this coming from my own folks. I don't even want the stupid cake anymore. I'd sooner flush it down the toilet than remember this feeling forever.
Alright enough of this depressing posts~ On a happier note, I FOUND MY LOVE FOR DANCE AGAIN! I went dancing with darling and L (haha sry cant call L darling) And oh god it felt wonderful to stretch our stiff muscles and work! that! butt! We were extremely stiff though hahaz but it felt wonderful to dance with my friends again after more than a year. The muscle aches that followed were a nice feeling I haven't felt in a long time too.
Oh yes, M came back from UK the other day too and surprised me on my birthday! Its been so long since i saw her and the last parting was not that wonderful either, cause I was stressed and all. Can't wait to see her this Friday with Zhu and the rest of the gang! Things are looking up i guess~ ^^
So yeah i have a been a really really horrible friend to my darling for the past few months, last minute change of plans and being late for over 2 hours!! Darling was oozing the kill aura and yeah, if I were tree I would still be shaking. Why is it I always treat those closest to me the worst... it defies standard logic and is completely irrational~ nevertheless, i owe darling a meal haha. This adding on to the list of teh pings I owe another darling haha. When I grow up I wanna be rich rich rich. Stay calm now~ so yes the stress of finding a job for my impending internship has unfortunately been very bleak (no surprise) until a few days ago when finally got an interview at a company that is very far from my home. But all things considered, it could have been far far worse. I am disappointed that I couldn't get into a company that really suited my style of design, art, bah! I don't really care anymore. This course has turned out to be a giant lie and thoughts of just kicking the bucket are surfacing ever the more, recently. Nothing stays the same. Oh the shame of it, and cliche, too.
I feel like i'm stuck in the center of a see saw, either side tilting little by little... a little more and one side will fall all the way down. So caught in the tide of undesirable endings, its suffocating... Further more adding to the clutter of thoughts is the 'friendship' problem spreading like wild fire. Everyone is poking the embers as if its an exotic animal on display. Tensions rise and fall and then i feel so lucky to have a stable friendship with people i treat so poorly. Ironic how the most passionate relationships die the fastest. It was just a matter of time really, saw it coming long ago~
And now on a more selfish grumble~ THIS IS MY WORSE BIRTHDAY EVER. PERIOD.
First is that nobody seems to care, yeah yeah i'm needy (but i wouldn't go that far lol) but the worse part was when my folks didn't seem to care either. Yeah they want to get me a cake but all that time dragging and dragging the simple issue make me feel.... annoyed, spilling into angry. It feels so insincere i'm close to feeling disgusted, and this coming from my own folks. I don't even want the stupid cake anymore. I'd sooner flush it down the toilet than remember this feeling forever.
Alright enough of this depressing posts~ On a happier note, I FOUND MY LOVE FOR DANCE AGAIN! I went dancing with darling and L (haha sry cant call L darling) And oh god it felt wonderful to stretch our stiff muscles and work! that! butt! We were extremely stiff though hahaz but it felt wonderful to dance with my friends again after more than a year. The muscle aches that followed were a nice feeling I haven't felt in a long time too.
Oh yes, M came back from UK the other day too and surprised me on my birthday! Its been so long since i saw her and the last parting was not that wonderful either, cause I was stressed and all. Can't wait to see her this Friday with Zhu and the rest of the gang! Things are looking up i guess~ ^^
Monday, May 21, 2012
Body language
I was on the bus when I suddenly remembered something really creepy I did when I was in primary 2, when all kids were supposed to be cute and stupid. Well I was curious about whether people could communicate through body language or mind power. Of course I was a kid and thought it in a simpler way, which does not make it any less creepy. So In class, I pretended to be a murderer and that I was wielding/hiding a knife in my bag. Mind you I did not really have any weapon of the sort. And guess what, a while later, the teacher approached me and said a classmate of mine had reported to him that I was hiding a knife. I acted out a weapon with my mind and body language and she guessed it in one go. So yea that's all I wanted to blog about. It these things that make life so interesting~
Friday, May 4, 2012
considering taking it slow
Well, i have thus far had the most excruciatingly exhausting 2 weeks of my life. You know what they say, the time when you suffered the most is time you were most happy. MY ASS. Whoever wrote that bullshit is some ancient masochist from god knows where. I mean i get that this is supposed to prepare us for the outside but seriously, my body can't take this amount of torture. I need a hug so bad its so humiliating. And these recent stomache pains are one of the worst i've had in my life too. My mum says its because of stress. Like duh! Its really annoying when your mind feels like punching something up and your body is like an 80 year old grandma aching all over and feeling so weak. )$*%(#&$%(#$&%(#!!!
Eating overflowing spoonfuls of bitter guard now. Hope it detoxifies all the shit from my body. This vegetable is a gift from the heavens, it tastes so good and is so good for your body~ Well well well better get back to work before i have to get my fourth mc this month, if i had so little money left, i have even lesser now... oh woe is meeeee~ my eye sight is really horrible right now, can't wait to get new specs!
But on to what has been bugging me lately. I really am considering staying another year in poly! Sure i won't know anyone but thats alright since i'm a loner to begin with anyway. Is it such a bad thing to retain a year? Sure the school fees are tough but I would be able to work this time and develop my portfolio. I really think i am not ready for the outside world yet. Well B and I have been joking about taking up journalism but I really don't mind and am even interested! Oh shit my eye sight is really scary right now. I cant even focus on objects at arm's length!! to think that four years have passed with me wearing this specs with not much change and in 2 freaking weeks i have double vision and that is times 2 since i am wearing specs already!! ARRGHHHH!!
But on to what has been bugging me lately. I really am considering staying another year in poly! Sure i won't know anyone but thats alright since i'm a loner to begin with anyway. Is it such a bad thing to retain a year? Sure the school fees are tough but I would be able to work this time and develop my portfolio. I really think i am not ready for the outside world yet. Well B and I have been joking about taking up journalism but I really don't mind and am even interested! Oh shit my eye sight is really scary right now. I cant even focus on objects at arm's length!! to think that four years have passed with me wearing this specs with not much change and in 2 freaking weeks i have double vision and that is times 2 since i am wearing specs already!! ARRGHHHH!!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Gothic memories
Lithium is so cool! Love the effects AND effort put into this video. Gothic dresses are so dam hard to draw what with all the frills and shiny corset lol. Okay i'm done with today's blog. Gonna drown my eardrums in gothic rock music and hopefully come up with something amazing for my SYO portfolio and possible blow the minds of my future employers ^^
Peace out~
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Palmistry
Today I had a trance session with my mum with the palmistry book. Did you know that fingers play a big role in the reading, not just the lines on the palms! And more often than not, the readings were spot on! But like my mum said, see 100% and believe only 10%. Nevertheless it was still mind blowing and we spent more than 4 hours pouring through the lines and wrinkles. I think i'm going to read up on astrology next and see where this takes me~ Actually, before design, I wanted to study stuff about space, but since there was no such course I just continued with design, the other love of my life. And it has been the most trying and self-explored time in my timeline ^^
So mind-fucking i'm left in a daze
Anaxagoras of Clazomenae
Ever since I opened that encyclopedia in primary school, the chapter on space and the solar system had always peaked my interest the most. What of black matter and wormholes and a dying star in a neighbouring solar system fascinated me like no other chapter, other than that of Biology.
Clazomenae's philosophy of space and living creatures pushed this semi-obsession into a who other direction. In the philosophy direction lol. It all makes sense yet there is no mathematical explanation to his theory. I have to reread sentences to understand the complexity of his philosophical equation and even now am still confused but fascinated nonetheless. And there is this stomach ache that is producing nothing but lots of methane dam I feel so uncomfortable!
La la la la anyway, I think i'm going to delve more into this long-neglected passion of mine. Oh the wonders and curiousities of space and the unknown~
Found Clazomenae's theory in this link
http://philosophy.gr/presocratics/anaxagoras.htm
ps: CAUTION do not read on a cluttered mind :)
splurging and loving it
Had a lovely day with Triplets, where everyone arrived ranging from late to horribly late lol. Poor B had to wait for more then a half hour on an empty stomach for everyone to arrive. Of course I wasn't the latest, oh how amusing since i'm almost always the latest. What was planned as a. emergency underwear shopping trip turned into a normal shopping spree as we got side tracked more and more but those pretty clothes, buckles and buttons. Zara has the most pretty and expensive clothes I have ever seen in my life so far. A fearsome combination that is sure to burn a hole in your wallet (well my wallet anyway) I think I spent enough to skim just over the 100 bucks line with some people owing me money each~
Ah yes, one thing that really pissed me off was the NewLook vouchers. Fed wrong information and given horribly inaccurate advice, if I ever see that scheming china woman salesgirl again, i'm gonna GIVE HER THE DIRTY FACE. Sigh, but what can I do~ I just need to quickly use up the vouchers and forget it all as a horrible dream. I STILL HATE HER. THE BLOODY BITCH PROBABLY GOT A BIG FAT COMMISSION FROM THE SALE. Woah woah woah got to cool down... THAT BITCH!
Anyway, I bought a big belt that was so simple and sophisticated i loved it! B chose it in one go, closet fashionista siol~ Oh before that we walked around in 313 and of course we stopped by Forever 21 to drool over the accessories... so pretty but all the good ones were so insanely expensive we had to leave them little jewels behind. After that, we browsed through the uniqlo underwear section and stared dumbfounded at the cost. The same thing happened at Triumpth and Forever 21, so we decided to just wait for the GSS.
And then it was time for Zara ~
Those asymmetrical skirts were to die for, and there was this blouse that I absolutely adored to bits. Caught my eye in a second and stayed in my mind till now. I'll probably dream about it tonight. It was like a black sleeveless cotton blouse that from above cleavage up was white lace. There were lovely little gold buttons on the back and it went so well with the asymmetrical skirt. But the skirt still won hands down material wise. I have no idea what material it was but it was soft like a baby's butt and flowed in the air-con wind... sigh~ there was so many colours and versions too! All perfect and sinfully unattainable. It cost $90 a pop! sigh~ In the end I bought a navy slim-fit skinny that was the only acceptably priced thing and of good value in the store. I love it though! It makes me look like I have a tight ass and the great thing about it is that your butt crack doesn't show when you squat down. Very handy for people with big butts, including me of course. As for the skirt, of course we just had to get our hands on one so it was of to Bugis to find a cheaper alternative and we did find it! After 2 hours of hunting in the labyrinth that was Bugis Street. Of course the material was not as spectacular but it was alright for the price we paid, like it was almost a quarter of the price of the one in Zara.
Oh yes! before we went to Bugis we stopped by NewLook, oh the anger, but lets forget about that. Too many profanities in my mind to type finish before the light of day. I managed to find a pretty and sheer pink sleeves blouse that had airplane prints (super cute!!) I have no idea why, but Triplets seemed to be in a pink haze, we were attracted to peachy and neon pink stuff everywhere! Haha. I'd love to show you readers pictures of the clothes but I was so happy I washed them all already and they are hanging to dry so you'll just have to wait a bit^^ (talking like i'm such a big shot lol) Well that concludes today's shopping spree with Jenrazer! Ciao!
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Phew!
I had a blast waking up with two layers of muscle ache but that's alright! Cause I was looking forward to spending time with two of my favourite extended family. Haha. If I thought I did a good job swimming it was completely overshadowed by Huan's impressive stamina, much like B. Haha. Maybe I should hook them up some time for a friendly match ^^ seriously, their stamina is really impressive for poeple who sit in front of a laptop all day for the most part of 2 years. 2 freaking years man.awesome~ But the best part was when we chatted for like 3 hours or so. Sure it started out awkward but we got the momentum back in no time! Min yu was so sweet and self conscious hahaz, whether it was just to create a topic to talk about or true experience, it was wonderful to talk to light heartedly again. In other news, a big fat apology to people I shocked during my emotional outburst 2 days ago. Believe me I was more shocked than all of you regarding the matter. Oh well~ Oh yes! SH darling bought me a super cute bookmark (yes people still use bookmarks these days David in your face!) from her Taiwan vacation. It looks so adorable and hilarious in my LOTR book
Its been a physically and mentally exhausting day, look forward to waking up to 3 layers of muscle ache in the morning~ Ciao!
ps: hope my horrible bruise will disappear soon~ and I love ToastBox's curry! i'd definitely return for more^^
Friday, April 6, 2012
Clubbing in new shoes
Brenda and I bought new shoes from New Look recently and these were some pictures I haven't posted of my beautiful babies^^
Maaaaan, my ugly veins are poppin gout more and more! Any idea of how to get rid of them?
Badminton on a rainy day~
So today I had a fabulous session of intense badminton with ma lovely S.V. Seems like L is having some really big problems with his classmate being an ass and how his insanely expensive photoshoots were not up to standard. I'd say he was ripped off but I don't know anything much about the model agency shit, so glad I didn't take it up that one time phew! But I have to also say he didn't do his homework before rushing into the profession. I'm blunt but thats how I really feel. People get scammed because they let themselves get scammed. I've been scammed before but I just take it as an experience and move on. So don't delve on this matter and move on L!
Anyway, it was wonderful to spend time with S.V even though we slacked off most of the time as usual S.V behaviour hahaz. Ma lovely lazy S.V members ^^ But I did wish we talked a little more though. Oh well~ we spent some time trying to come up with our totems for our S.V tote bags but everyone except me seemed to be unmotivated hahaz At least we planned some activities with whats left of our holidays. Portfolio!! oh man oh man oh man the more I think about it the more I feel there is no sunstantial material in it. And si Tai Pang has yet to reply me haiz. A probing in my right arm is signaling a very painful morning to come. Gosh! playing badminton is so much better than going to the gym! All the water I lost should fill a bucket. Oh yey! my mum bought chocolate again! But B's dad said some scary stuff about 7 species of cockroach found in chocolate, somehow implying it to all chocolate. zzz what a downer but hey! cockroach skin is supposed to be good for the skin lol, but don't take my word for it :P
Well, I guess I should start on the tote bag design to busy my hands, so much I want to do! Oh I feel the urge to learn oil painting, make clay sculptures, wood sculptures, design those analogies I thought of while still somewhat fresh in my foggy head and brush up my portfolio. I have to admit, after seeing those photos from L, I don't think my photography is that bad after all. Guess there is hope for me in this design industry yet!
Can't wait to go swimming tomorrow, hope my muscle aches are not too severe hahaz
Anyway, it was wonderful to spend time with S.V even though we slacked off most of the time as usual S.V behaviour hahaz. Ma lovely lazy S.V members ^^ But I did wish we talked a little more though. Oh well~ we spent some time trying to come up with our totems for our S.V tote bags but everyone except me seemed to be unmotivated hahaz At least we planned some activities with whats left of our holidays. Portfolio!! oh man oh man oh man the more I think about it the more I feel there is no sunstantial material in it. And si Tai Pang has yet to reply me haiz. A probing in my right arm is signaling a very painful morning to come. Gosh! playing badminton is so much better than going to the gym! All the water I lost should fill a bucket. Oh yey! my mum bought chocolate again! But B's dad said some scary stuff about 7 species of cockroach found in chocolate, somehow implying it to all chocolate. zzz what a downer but hey! cockroach skin is supposed to be good for the skin lol, but don't take my word for it :P
Well, I guess I should start on the tote bag design to busy my hands, so much I want to do! Oh I feel the urge to learn oil painting, make clay sculptures, wood sculptures, design those analogies I thought of while still somewhat fresh in my foggy head and brush up my portfolio. I have to admit, after seeing those photos from L, I don't think my photography is that bad after all. Guess there is hope for me in this design industry yet!
Can't wait to go swimming tomorrow, hope my muscle aches are not too severe hahaz
Didn't get to take a group photo but managed to snag one with SH :) Open your eyes asian!
A feather fell on my shoe^^
My first and only tattoo
Was just browsing my old photos and came across something SH and I did a few years back in secondary school. What started as a doodle for fun as turned out to be be the highest viewed 'art' on my deviantart account! Sometimes I think I was more creative when I was younger~ I'd like to think I still am but the truth is i'm starved for a new experience in life! Well, I hope to experience something a little much-ier in the days to come^^
The world seems a better place with you in it
I know its only been a while since my last post but I just read what my S.V darling wrote in her blog and I was so touched I had to write another to spill all my emotions!! This is the first time I read something till I am on the verge of tears (in a good way). Oh SH, I think you articulated all that was needed to make me feel better after the recent frustration in my life. Its great to be with S.V this way. Yes my IP was horrid but at least I passed and will be able to graduate with you all together! You understand me so well SH, I think is cause we really have talked about everything there is to talk about, but of course now I have new things to tell you too! I'm so blessed to have you as my friend/triplet SH. I feel the sun rising in my clouded head... Some people can never be measured in words
ps: the crush thing is really complicated but i'll fill you in on the details tomorrow, or rather later today^^
It really is a mess but its for the best too hahaz!
ps: the crush thing is really complicated but i'll fill you in on the details tomorrow, or rather later today^^
It really is a mess but its for the best too hahaz!
Update on the analogies
S.V darlings a made a mistake on one of the analogies!
L: you are like a snake camouflaged in in any terrain
B and I thought of this animal a while back, the wind one was when I chatted with SH. Hahaz I guess when we play badminton the next day, we'll be talking about this in further detail~
I think i'm getting the hang of this, blogging I mean. Ciao~
L: you are like a snake camouflaged in in any terrain
B and I thought of this animal a while back, the wind one was when I chatted with SH. Hahaz I guess when we play badminton the next day, we'll be talking about this in further detail~
I think i'm getting the hang of this, blogging I mean. Ciao~
This puppy is so adorable! I find I feel better when I look at cute animals.http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu9ck6zSPH1qe6r8go1_500.png
unhealthy VS neccessary
i've been feeling frustrated after the chalet and now I think I know why. The old me and the new me is fighting each other is fighting each other in my head. This spells disaster because I know what a crazy world my internal mentality is. Mum would say its either my period is coming or i'm drinking too much soda. I'm betting its not the latter. Pa won't even bother to understand how I feel and just conclude its all part of growing up. ( not that its wrong, but just irritating) Anyway, the problem is simple. There has been one other case of this before and its ironic how I swore on that day it would never happen again. Fuck the irony, i'm only human. Ok I need to stop swearing so much, darlings have been telling me this recently hahaz.
I think iv become needy for attention ever since onglais kind of merged with them. I have never been needy, my family's strenuous relationship has trained me since I was born to not count on other people. But the thing is, nothing really has changed from before, not in the case of me anyway. I'm still the drifter, intent on being independent. Hmmm maybe I want to be more easily talkative like the others? But this I know I am not so there's no solving this. Well at least I still have S.V, no matter how long we never see each other theres never the uncomfortable feeling i'm feeling right now. But I know eventually I will have to stop falling back to S.V to ease my need for attention and acceptance. Well not really acceptance, because S.V is just comfortable with each other no matter what we do hahaz same brain frequency.
Again, this only happened once before in Sec 3 or 4 when zhu zhu got a boyfriend and ignored me for a year or so. But I got over that eventually when I just didn't give a fuck anymore. Am I sounding emo? Of course I am. I really think working out helps me vent everyday frustrations so I'm looking forward to my badminton session with S.V ^^ Oh yes, back to the topic~ On the train ride back, the problem was nagging in my brain for a long time. And then I remembered. The solution I thought of and went through with the first time it happened. Its was simple. Just keep your distance. I guess this friendship has reached the point of question of comfortabilityVSneccessity. I'm so grateful I found S.V and Onglais (thx MY for bothering to ask about me when nobody else gave a shit). Yes I think I shall stick to this solution till it blows over or till I find a better one. And yes I can never have a relationship with a designer, it just signals disaster. Wtf was I even thinking, design school is just wack, only strong minded people can survive in it.
Oh I just remembered. Not sure where I heard this from but someone said people who withdraw from others are not stronger or some shit like that. I don't know... Should I go forward or stay as I am. Would it be counted as running away or growing stronger...... Is materialism really bad or is it good enough as something to distract you from your troubles... Perhaps I think too much but would it be better to think less. On and on these questions arise in my head, probably a good sign of my brain working a bit after being drained of mental activity after delving into design. Only two weeks is left of the little reprieve from the endless submissions one after another. I should really focus on my portfolio and and regain my physical stamina instead of wasting precious time on nonsensical things like this latest frustration. Relationships with people never failed to drive me over the edge sometimes. This is life. Hollywood is a sham and for children still living in their little bubble of happiness. I think I know how the author who wrote peter pan felt when he wrote the story, even though it is a quite different from what happened to his brother.
Well I feel quite better after getting all that out. Sorry for this sad and annoying post hahaz.
ps: kimchi with maggi mee is disgusting
I think iv become needy for attention ever since onglais kind of merged with them. I have never been needy, my family's strenuous relationship has trained me since I was born to not count on other people. But the thing is, nothing really has changed from before, not in the case of me anyway. I'm still the drifter, intent on being independent. Hmmm maybe I want to be more easily talkative like the others? But this I know I am not so there's no solving this. Well at least I still have S.V, no matter how long we never see each other theres never the uncomfortable feeling i'm feeling right now. But I know eventually I will have to stop falling back to S.V to ease my need for attention and acceptance. Well not really acceptance, because S.V is just comfortable with each other no matter what we do hahaz same brain frequency.
Again, this only happened once before in Sec 3 or 4 when zhu zhu got a boyfriend and ignored me for a year or so. But I got over that eventually when I just didn't give a fuck anymore. Am I sounding emo? Of course I am. I really think working out helps me vent everyday frustrations so I'm looking forward to my badminton session with S.V ^^ Oh yes, back to the topic~ On the train ride back, the problem was nagging in my brain for a long time. And then I remembered. The solution I thought of and went through with the first time it happened. Its was simple. Just keep your distance. I guess this friendship has reached the point of question of comfortabilityVSneccessity. I'm so grateful I found S.V and Onglais (thx MY for bothering to ask about me when nobody else gave a shit). Yes I think I shall stick to this solution till it blows over or till I find a better one. And yes I can never have a relationship with a designer, it just signals disaster. Wtf was I even thinking, design school is just wack, only strong minded people can survive in it.
Oh I just remembered. Not sure where I heard this from but someone said people who withdraw from others are not stronger or some shit like that. I don't know... Should I go forward or stay as I am. Would it be counted as running away or growing stronger...... Is materialism really bad or is it good enough as something to distract you from your troubles... Perhaps I think too much but would it be better to think less. On and on these questions arise in my head, probably a good sign of my brain working a bit after being drained of mental activity after delving into design. Only two weeks is left of the little reprieve from the endless submissions one after another. I should really focus on my portfolio and and regain my physical stamina instead of wasting precious time on nonsensical things like this latest frustration. Relationships with people never failed to drive me over the edge sometimes. This is life. Hollywood is a sham and for children still living in their little bubble of happiness. I think I know how the author who wrote peter pan felt when he wrote the story, even though it is a quite different from what happened to his brother.
Well I feel quite better after getting all that out. Sorry for this sad and annoying post hahaz.
ps: kimchi with maggi mee is disgusting
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Should I or Should I probably not
There's this complicated problem in ma life recently and it kind of putting me in dreamy sort of stupor that i absolutely detest. Well not really detest, but i have to admit its really annoying oh my stupid stupid mouth. One day i quite sure i'm gonna land myself in big trouble and no amount of stoning is going to make it disappear lol.
Oh yes, recently my alcohol in take is becoming very scary. Who in their right minds drinks beer before cycling. I'm gooooooooooooing nuts seriously. But going to the gym and working out is making me happier, in an almost magical way! By hook or by crook i'm gonna keep this up and train my horribly flabby body into shape! I wanna look like Olivia Hussey at her age. Ah! got sidetracked again. Oh yea, ma newest predicament in life... boy trouble sigh. I not only not know him, I haven't spoken to him before either. But gosh he has nice hair. But i'm scared he'll be like someone extremely annoying, and i do hate his swearing a lot with that annoying person. I can't believe he has warranted such displeasure from me, whom i think to be a highly tolerant person, after only attending one class together. sigh~ but oh well, i don't think i'm ready for another relationship anyway. That fling thingy was and still is a pretty traumatic experience.
Oh yea another miscommunication problem under pressure but that secret i keep with me to the grave... Ok i'm hungry now, ciao!
Oh yes, recently my alcohol in take is becoming very scary. Who in their right minds drinks beer before cycling. I'm gooooooooooooing nuts seriously. But going to the gym and working out is making me happier, in an almost magical way! By hook or by crook i'm gonna keep this up and train my horribly flabby body into shape! I wanna look like Olivia Hussey at her age. Ah! got sidetracked again. Oh yea, ma newest predicament in life... boy trouble sigh. I not only not know him, I haven't spoken to him before either. But gosh he has nice hair. But i'm scared he'll be like someone extremely annoying, and i do hate his swearing a lot with that annoying person. I can't believe he has warranted such displeasure from me, whom i think to be a highly tolerant person, after only attending one class together. sigh~ but oh well, i don't think i'm ready for another relationship anyway. That fling thingy was and still is a pretty traumatic experience.
Oh yea another miscommunication problem under pressure but that secret i keep with me to the grave... Ok i'm hungry now, ciao!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...?
Recently. i've been hanging out with S.V and onglais and powerangers, and i'm feeling a little confused hahaz. I have no idea if i'm uncomfortable with so much bonding or if the bonding will last long. Wow, i'm really into the evaluating mode now. There was this evaluating session with onglais and powerangers and i made up analogies for each person except a few which i have just thought of and will list them out presently. Oh this includes ma precious S.V darlings too ^^ oh and hearts out to hwayobi!!
ps: the listings are in no order of favourites kay, love ya'll all lots lots, it's mostly me trying to squeeze out all that was said in The Evaluation. Oh yesh, i used nicknames so guess who you are HAHA!!
Of course S.V darlings are first (lol):
L: you're just like the wind hahaz
SH: B and I thought you were between a kitten to an arctic wolf hmmm~
BJYJH (lol): Presently we're unsure between beaver and sloth (laugh laugh laugh) I thought of a hybrid but B very nicely (hysterically) expressed her disapproval so slash that idea~ but if anyones has a creative hybrid feel free to chip in hahaz.
Then there's ma lovely, funny, adorable onglais and powerangers:
Schoolgirl: the majestic bamboo plant with strong roots
Uniqlo worker strong and true: it fluctuates between slutty cat to something nice that i can't think of yet. Something like a gentlemen to a grandfather sitting on a rocking chair. Like i said! not concluded~
We skipped a busy person but i thought of one for him too!
Steven the cab driver (can't remember the new and improved one hahaz): Top grade printer that occasionally prints stuff backwards, but the quality is still very good hahaz. But this is analogy is without evaluation, ok maybe a bit but still not enough~
Cute but mature girl: three sided fur coat. One side is colour of rainbows and baby blue skies dipped in sunshine. Another side is leopard print. And the last side is only for her ta know.
The supa dupa kind hearted volunteer a.k.a guan yin ma: baby sparrow at the point of almost flying but adding something else that of course i can't think of yet.
Oh yes I bruised my leg when i cycled yesterday. Hurts everytime i sit down!!
Next is ma homegirl: cocktail drink on a railroad track (hahaz very hard to explain so i won't right now) Oh wait! now i'm thinking of a disco ball! hmmmmm~
Camp Commander: a bowl of nicely mixed cake batter, but this is not concluded yet either!
JH (dun know his nickmane): entertainment channel with bad reception occasional. But mostly is very good!
Nika: chili padi plant with pink blossoms. The chili padi can shrink or enlarge one!
Good cycling stamina girl: didn't do her evaluation but who cares! I keep thinking of some kind of bird that falls asleep like snorex but becomes like a puppy when awake...? hahaz maybe i'll get clearer in the future
Yessi i think that concludes everybadae that have been evaluated so far. I kind of like this htht thing. Hope there's more in the future for me to make up more analogies and maybe i'll do a little draft just for fun hahaz its such a crazy idea anyway.
Well, this concludes episode 1 of analogies with Jenrazer, see ya'll again soon!
ps: the listings are in no order of favourites kay, love ya'll all lots lots, it's mostly me trying to squeeze out all that was said in The Evaluation. Oh yesh, i used nicknames so guess who you are HAHA!!
Of course S.V darlings are first (lol):
L: you're just like the wind hahaz
SH: B and I thought you were between a kitten to an arctic wolf hmmm~
BJYJH (lol): Presently we're unsure between beaver and sloth (laugh laugh laugh) I thought of a hybrid but B very nicely (hysterically) expressed her disapproval so slash that idea~ but if anyones has a creative hybrid feel free to chip in hahaz.
Then there's ma lovely, funny, adorable onglais and powerangers:
Schoolgirl: the majestic bamboo plant with strong roots
Uniqlo worker strong and true: it fluctuates between slutty cat to something nice that i can't think of yet. Something like a gentlemen to a grandfather sitting on a rocking chair. Like i said! not concluded~
We skipped a busy person but i thought of one for him too!
Steven the cab driver (can't remember the new and improved one hahaz): Top grade printer that occasionally prints stuff backwards, but the quality is still very good hahaz. But this is analogy is without evaluation, ok maybe a bit but still not enough~
Cute but mature girl: three sided fur coat. One side is colour of rainbows and baby blue skies dipped in sunshine. Another side is leopard print. And the last side is only for her ta know.
The supa dupa kind hearted volunteer a.k.a guan yin ma: baby sparrow at the point of almost flying but adding something else that of course i can't think of yet.
Oh yes I bruised my leg when i cycled yesterday. Hurts everytime i sit down!!
Next is ma homegirl: cocktail drink on a railroad track (hahaz very hard to explain so i won't right now) Oh wait! now i'm thinking of a disco ball! hmmmmm~
Camp Commander: a bowl of nicely mixed cake batter, but this is not concluded yet either!
JH (dun know his nickmane): entertainment channel with bad reception occasional. But mostly is very good!
Nika: chili padi plant with pink blossoms. The chili padi can shrink or enlarge one!
Good cycling stamina girl: didn't do her evaluation but who cares! I keep thinking of some kind of bird that falls asleep like snorex but becomes like a puppy when awake...? hahaz maybe i'll get clearer in the future
Yessi i think that concludes everybadae that have been evaluated so far. I kind of like this htht thing. Hope there's more in the future for me to make up more analogies and maybe i'll do a little draft just for fun hahaz its such a crazy idea anyway.
Well, this concludes episode 1 of analogies with Jenrazer, see ya'll again soon!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Face to face or through blog
After a long winter in hibernation, I'M BACK.
Yes yes yes I know I have been neglecting this blog for a long time, everyone seems to complain about that hahaz. But really, if there was only one choice to get to know a person, which would you choose? Face to face conversations or through their blog?
Listening to the final fantasy soundtrack, spirits within, feel so serene and at peace... don't even know why i wrote in this blog after abandoning it for so long. Well lets see, there have a couple of interesting things that happened in my life recently, and a whole lot more of depressing stuff, but who wants to about the boring stuff. So the complaints of having no couple relationships have been popping up ever so often nowadays. A surge of hormones I take it, also now that its the spring period of our relatively short lives. I only ever had a fling once, and that itself was traumatic. The whole saga lasted only 2 weeks and we were officially together for like only a day. I can't even begin to imagine what a failed long term relationship would do to me mentally.
Oh oh oh! I just figured that the my future significant other would have to have these attributes to balance us out; he would have to be lively, I allow a moderately childish, sporty, and sensible. wow. picky picky picky. Cause I am a lazy person that needs someone to push me along or i'd never get anything done.
Well its no use talking about this or thinking about it now either cause its the in the middle of IP and it has been EXHAUSTING. Nothing in the last one and a half years in poly can be compared to this. And we can't fail it too. But the photoshoot with my beloved S.V has made things a little bearable. But I also missed the dinner and get together with onglais. Sigh~ Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if we didn't merge with powerangers, not that they are bad people, but just that we are different people. But its kinda sad that almost all of them have a relationship and we do not. Bummer~
I am just trying to distract myself from doing my IP so yup the end :)
Yes yes yes I know I have been neglecting this blog for a long time, everyone seems to complain about that hahaz. But really, if there was only one choice to get to know a person, which would you choose? Face to face conversations or through their blog?
Listening to the final fantasy soundtrack, spirits within, feel so serene and at peace... don't even know why i wrote in this blog after abandoning it for so long. Well lets see, there have a couple of interesting things that happened in my life recently, and a whole lot more of depressing stuff, but who wants to about the boring stuff. So the complaints of having no couple relationships have been popping up ever so often nowadays. A surge of hormones I take it, also now that its the spring period of our relatively short lives. I only ever had a fling once, and that itself was traumatic. The whole saga lasted only 2 weeks and we were officially together for like only a day. I can't even begin to imagine what a failed long term relationship would do to me mentally.
Oh oh oh! I just figured that the my future significant other would have to have these attributes to balance us out; he would have to be lively, I allow a moderately childish, sporty, and sensible. wow. picky picky picky. Cause I am a lazy person that needs someone to push me along or i'd never get anything done.
Well its no use talking about this or thinking about it now either cause its the in the middle of IP and it has been EXHAUSTING. Nothing in the last one and a half years in poly can be compared to this. And we can't fail it too. But the photoshoot with my beloved S.V has made things a little bearable. But I also missed the dinner and get together with onglais. Sigh~ Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if we didn't merge with powerangers, not that they are bad people, but just that we are different people. But its kinda sad that almost all of them have a relationship and we do not. Bummer~
I am just trying to distract myself from doing my IP so yup the end :)
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