Gothic memories

I've been soaking in this saturated sea of R&B, kpop, jpop, and recently indie music that it comes as a shock when I listened to Evanescence. The dark rock music genre is so dramatic and I love it. Now I realise why my works have been so inconsistent because I have tried to mould myself to the school's standards and expectations of what good work is. Not that its a bad thing, just an enlightened by this realisation I guess. My lecturer has told us continuously to stay true to who we were in our work and now I am only starting to understand the meaning behind this struggle against protocol and indulgence and deeper personality. Evanescence - My heart is broken, its so dramatic and haunting, perhaps a little mainstream haha. Love her new song 'Made of stone' though, heard it when I watched Underworld Awakening. Sucky show with no plot but awesome effects and amazing soundtracks as usual. But the plot was really disappointing though, especially with no Michael Corvin in it.

Lithium is so cool! Love the effects AND effort put into this video. Gothic dresses are so dam hard to draw what with all the frills and shiny corset lol. Okay i'm done with today's blog. Gonna drown my eardrums in gothic rock music and hopefully come up with something amazing for my SYO portfolio and possible blow the minds of my future employers ^^

Peace out~

Palmistry

Today I had a trance session with my mum with the palmistry book. Did you know that fingers play a big role in the reading, not just the lines on the palms! And more often than not, the readings were spot on! But like my mum said, see 100% and believe only 10%. Nevertheless it was still mind blowing and we spent more than 4 hours pouring through the lines and wrinkles. I think i'm going to read up on astrology next and see where this takes me~ Actually, before design, I wanted to study stuff about space, but since there was no such course I just continued with design, the other love of my life. And it has been the most trying and self-explored time in my timeline ^^

So mind-fucking i'm left in a daze

Anaxagoras of Clazomenae

Ever since I opened that encyclopedia in primary school, the chapter on space and the solar system had always peaked my interest the most. What of black matter and wormholes and a dying star in a neighbouring solar system fascinated me like no other chapter, other than that of Biology.

Clazomenae's philosophy of space and living creatures pushed this semi-obsession into a who other direction. In the philosophy direction lol. It all makes sense yet there is no mathematical explanation to his theory. I have to reread sentences to understand the complexity of his philosophical equation and even now am still confused but fascinated nonetheless. And there is this stomach ache that is producing nothing but lots of methane dam I feel so uncomfortable!

La la la la anyway, I think i'm going to delve more into this long-neglected passion of mine. Oh the wonders and curiousities of space and the unknown~

Found Clazomenae's theory in this link
http://philosophy.gr/presocratics/anaxagoras.htm

ps: CAUTION do not read on a cluttered mind :)

splurging and loving it

Had a lovely day with Triplets, where everyone arrived ranging from late to horribly late lol. Poor B had to wait for more then a half hour on an empty stomach for everyone to arrive. Of course I wasn't the latest, oh how amusing since i'm almost always the latest. What was planned as a. emergency underwear shopping trip turned into a normal shopping spree as we got side tracked more and more but those pretty clothes, buckles and buttons. Zara has the most pretty and expensive clothes I have ever seen in my life so far. A fearsome combination that is sure to burn a hole in your wallet (well my wallet anyway) I think I spent enough to skim just over the 100 bucks line with some people owing me money each~ 

Ah yes, one thing that really pissed me off was the NewLook vouchers. Fed wrong information and given horribly inaccurate advice, if I ever see that scheming china woman salesgirl again, i'm gonna GIVE HER THE DIRTY FACE. Sigh, but what can I do~ I just need to quickly use up the vouchers and forget it all as a horrible dream. I STILL HATE HER. THE BLOODY BITCH PROBABLY GOT A BIG FAT COMMISSION FROM THE SALE. Woah woah woah got to cool down... THAT BITCH!

Anyway, I bought a big belt that was so simple and sophisticated i loved it! B chose it in one go, closet fashionista siol~ Oh before that we walked around in 313 and of course we stopped by Forever 21 to drool over the accessories... so pretty but all the good ones were so insanely expensive we had to leave them little jewels behind. After that, we browsed through the uniqlo underwear section and stared dumbfounded at the cost. The same thing happened at Triumpth and Forever 21, so we decided to just wait for the GSS. 

And then it was time for Zara ~

Those asymmetrical skirts were to die for, and there was this blouse that I absolutely adored to bits. Caught my eye in a second and stayed in my mind till now. I'll probably dream about it tonight. It was like a black sleeveless cotton blouse that from above cleavage up was white lace. There were lovely little gold buttons on the back and it went so well with the asymmetrical skirt. But the skirt still won hands down material wise. I have no idea what material it was but it was soft like a baby's butt and flowed in the  air-con wind... sigh~ there was so many colours and versions too! All perfect and sinfully unattainable. It cost $90 a pop! sigh~ In the end I bought a navy slim-fit skinny that was the only acceptably priced thing and of good value in the store. I love it though! It makes me look like I have a tight ass and the great thing about it is that your butt crack doesn't show when you squat down. Very handy for people with big butts, including me of course. As for the skirt, of course we just had to get our hands on one so it was of to Bugis to find a cheaper alternative and we did find it! After 2 hours of hunting in the labyrinth that was Bugis Street. Of course the material was not as spectacular but it was alright for the price we paid, like it was almost a quarter of the price of the one in Zara. 

Oh yes! before we went to Bugis we stopped by NewLook, oh the anger, but lets forget about that. Too many profanities in my mind to type finish before the light of day. I managed to find a pretty and sheer pink sleeves blouse that had airplane prints (super cute!!) I have no idea why, but Triplets seemed to be in a pink haze, we were attracted to peachy and neon pink stuff everywhere! Haha. I'd love to show you readers pictures of the clothes but I was so happy I washed them all already and they are hanging to dry so you'll just have to wait a bit^^ (talking like i'm such a big shot lol) Well that concludes today's shopping spree with Jenrazer! Ciao!

Phew!

I had a blast waking up with two layers of muscle ache but that's alright! Cause I was looking forward to spending time with two of my favourite extended family. Haha. If I thought I did a good job swimming it was completely overshadowed by Huan's impressive stamina, much like B. Haha. Maybe I should hook them up some time for a friendly match ^^ seriously, their stamina is really impressive for poeple who sit in front of a laptop all day for the most part of 2 years. 2 freaking years man.awesome~ But the best part was when we chatted for like 3 hours or so. Sure it started out awkward but we got the momentum back in no time! Min yu was so sweet and self conscious hahaz, whether it was just to create a topic to talk about or true experience, it was wonderful to talk to light heartedly again. In other news, a big fat apology to people I shocked during my emotional outburst 2 days ago. Believe me I was more shocked than all of you regarding the matter. Oh well~ Oh yes! SH darling bought me a super cute bookmark (yes people still use bookmarks these days David in your face!) from her Taiwan vacation. It looks so adorable and hilarious in my LOTR book

Its been a physically and mentally exhausting day, look forward to waking up to 3 layers of muscle ache in the morning~ Ciao!

 ps: hope my horrible bruise will disappear soon~ and I love ToastBox's curry! i'd definitely return for more^^

Clubbing in new shoes

Brenda and I bought new shoes from New Look recently and these were some pictures I haven't posted of my beautiful babies^^

Maaaaan, my ugly veins are poppin gout more and more! Any idea of how to get rid of them?

Badminton on a rainy day~

So today I had a fabulous session of intense badminton with ma lovely S.V. Seems like L is having some really big problems with his classmate being an ass and how his insanely expensive photoshoots were not up to standard. I'd say he was ripped off but I don't know anything much about the model agency shit, so glad I didn't take it up that one time phew! But I have to also say he didn't do his homework before rushing into the profession. I'm blunt but thats how I really feel. People get scammed because they let themselves get scammed. I've been scammed before but I just take it as an experience and move on. So don't delve on this matter and move on L! 


Anyway, it was wonderful to spend time with S.V even though we slacked off most of the time as usual S.V behaviour hahaz. Ma lovely lazy S.V members ^^ But I did wish we talked a little more though. Oh well~ we spent some time trying to come up with our totems for our S.V tote bags but everyone except me seemed to be unmotivated hahaz At least we planned some activities with whats left of our holidays. Portfolio!! oh man oh man oh man the more I think about it the more I feel there is no sunstantial material in it. And si Tai Pang has yet to reply me haiz. A probing in my right arm is signaling a very painful morning to come. Gosh! playing badminton is so much better than going to the gym! All the water I lost should fill a bucket. Oh yey! my mum bought chocolate again! But B's dad said some scary stuff about 7 species of cockroach found in chocolate, somehow implying it to all chocolate. zzz what a downer but hey! cockroach skin is supposed to be good for the skin lol, but don't take my word for it :P 


Well, I guess I should start on the tote bag design to busy my hands, so much I want to do! Oh I feel the urge to learn oil painting, make clay sculptures, wood sculptures, design those analogies I thought of while still somewhat fresh in my foggy head and brush up my portfolio. I have to admit, after seeing those photos from L, I don't think my photography is that bad after all. Guess there is hope for me in this design industry yet!


Can't wait to go swimming tomorrow, hope my muscle aches are not too severe hahaz

Didn't get to take a group photo but managed to snag one with SH :) Open your eyes asian!

A feather fell on my shoe^^

My first and only tattoo

Was just browsing my old photos and came across something SH and I did a few years back in secondary school. What started as a doodle for fun as turned out to be be the highest viewed 'art' on my deviantart account! Sometimes I think I was more creative when I was younger~ I'd like to think I still am but the truth is i'm starved for a new experience in life! Well, I hope to experience something a little much-ier in the days to come^^

The world seems a better place with you in it

I know its only been a while since my last post but I just read what my S.V darling wrote in her blog and I was so touched I had to write another to spill all my emotions!! This is the first time I read something till I am on the verge of tears (in a good way). Oh SH, I think you articulated all that was needed to make me feel better after the recent frustration in my life. Its great to be with S.V this way. Yes my IP was horrid but at least I passed and will be able to graduate with you all together! You understand me so well SH, I think is cause we really have talked about everything there is to talk about, but of course now I have new things to tell you too! I'm so blessed to have you as my friend/triplet SH. I feel the sun rising in my clouded head... Some people can never be measured in words


ps: the crush thing is really complicated but i'll fill you in on the details tomorrow, or rather later today^^
It really is a mess but its for the best too hahaz!

Update on the analogies

S.V darlings a made a mistake on one of the analogies!
L: you are like a snake camouflaged in in any terrain
B and I thought of this animal a while back, the wind one was when I chatted with SH. Hahaz I guess when we play badminton the next day, we'll be talking about this in further detail~

I think i'm getting the hang of this, blogging I mean. Ciao~

This puppy is so adorable! I find I feel better when I look at cute animals.http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu9ck6zSPH1qe6r8go1_500.png

unhealthy VS neccessary

i've been feeling frustrated after the chalet and now I think I know why. The old me and the new me is fighting each other is fighting each other in my head. This spells disaster because I know what a crazy world my internal mentality is. Mum would say its either my period is coming or i'm drinking too much soda. I'm betting its not the latter. Pa won't even bother to understand how I feel and just conclude its all part of growing up. ( not that its wrong, but just irritating) Anyway, the problem is simple. There has been one other case of this before and its ironic how I swore on that day it would never happen again. Fuck the irony, i'm only human. Ok I need to stop swearing so much, darlings have been telling me this recently hahaz.

I think iv become needy for attention ever since onglais kind of merged with them. I have never been needy, my family's strenuous relationship has trained me since I was born to not count on other people. But the thing is, nothing really has changed from before, not in the case of me anyway. I'm still the drifter, intent on being independent. Hmmm maybe I want to be more easily talkative like the others? But this I know I am not so there's no solving this. Well at least I still have S.V, no matter how long we never see each other theres never the uncomfortable feeling i'm feeling right now. But I know eventually I will have to stop falling back to S.V to ease my need for attention and acceptance. Well not really acceptance, because S.V is just comfortable with each other no matter what we do hahaz same brain frequency.

Again, this only happened once before in Sec 3 or 4 when zhu zhu got a boyfriend and ignored me for a year or so. But I got over that eventually when I just didn't give a fuck anymore. Am I sounding emo? Of course I am. I really think working out helps me vent everyday frustrations so I'm looking forward to my badminton session with S.V  ^^ Oh yes, back to the topic~ On the train ride back, the problem was nagging in my brain for a long time. And then I remembered. The solution I thought of and went through with the first time it happened. Its was simple. Just keep your distance. I guess this friendship has reached the point of question of comfortabilityVSneccessity. I'm so grateful I found S.V and Onglais (thx MY for bothering to ask about me when nobody else gave a shit). Yes I think I shall stick to this solution till it blows over or till I find a better one. And yes I can never have a relationship with a designer, it just signals disaster. Wtf was I even thinking, design school is just wack, only strong minded people can survive in it.

Oh I just remembered. Not sure where I heard this from but someone said people who withdraw from others are not stronger or some shit like that. I don't know... Should I go forward or stay as I am. Would it be counted as running away or growing stronger...... Is materialism really bad or is it good enough as something to distract you from your troubles... Perhaps I think too much but would it be better to think less. On and on these questions arise in my head, probably a good sign of my brain working a bit after being drained of mental activity after delving into design. Only two weeks is left of the little reprieve from the endless submissions one after another. I should really focus on my portfolio and and regain my physical stamina instead of wasting precious time on nonsensical things like this latest frustration. Relationships with people never failed to drive me over the edge sometimes. This is life. Hollywood is a sham and for children still living in their little bubble of happiness. I think I know how the author who wrote peter pan felt when he wrote the story, even though it is a quite different from what happened to his brother.

Well I feel quite better after getting all that out. Sorry for this sad and annoying post hahaz.

ps: kimchi with maggi mee is disgusting

Should I or Should I probably not

There's this complicated problem in ma life recently and it kind of putting me in dreamy sort of stupor that i absolutely detest. Well not really detest, but i have to admit its really annoying oh my stupid stupid mouth. One day i quite sure i'm gonna land myself in big trouble and no amount of stoning is going to make it disappear lol. 


Oh yes, recently my alcohol in take is becoming very scary. Who in their right minds drinks beer before cycling. I'm gooooooooooooing nuts seriously. But going to the gym and working out is making me happier, in an almost magical way! By hook or by crook i'm gonna keep this up and train my horribly flabby body into shape! I wanna look like Olivia Hussey at her age. Ah! got sidetracked again. Oh yea, ma newest predicament in life... boy trouble sigh. I not only not know him, I haven't spoken to him before either. But gosh he has nice hair. But i'm scared he'll be like someone extremely annoying, and i do hate his swearing a lot with that annoying person. I can't believe he has warranted such displeasure from me, whom i think to be a highly tolerant person, after only attending one class together. sigh~ but oh well, i don't think i'm ready for another relationship anyway. That fling thingy was and still is a pretty traumatic experience. 


Oh yea another miscommunication problem under pressure but that secret i keep with me to the grave... Ok i'm hungry now, ciao!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...?

Recently. i've been hanging out with S.V and onglais and powerangers, and i'm feeling a little confused hahaz. I have no idea if i'm uncomfortable with so much bonding or if the bonding will last long. Wow, i'm really into the evaluating mode now. There was this evaluating session with onglais and powerangers and i made up analogies for each person except a few which i have just thought of and will list them out presently. Oh this includes ma precious S.V darlings too ^^ oh and hearts out to hwayobi!!


ps: the listings are in no order of favourites kay, love ya'll all lots lots, it's mostly me trying to squeeze out all that was said in The Evaluation. Oh yesh, i used nicknames so guess who you are HAHA!!


Of course S.V darlings are first (lol):


L: you're just like the wind hahaz
SH: B and I thought you were between a kitten to an arctic wolf hmmm~ 
BJYJH (lol): Presently we're unsure between beaver and sloth (laugh laugh laugh) I thought of a hybrid but B very nicely (hysterically) expressed her disapproval so slash that idea~ but if anyones has a creative hybrid feel free to chip in hahaz.




Then there's ma lovely, funny, adorable onglais and powerangers:


Schoolgirl: the majestic bamboo plant with strong roots
Uniqlo worker strong and true: it fluctuates between slutty cat to something nice that i can't think of yet. Something like a gentlemen to a grandfather sitting on a rocking chair. Like i said! not concluded~
We skipped a busy person but i thought of one for him too!
Steven the cab driver (can't remember the new and improved one hahaz): Top grade printer that occasionally prints stuff backwards, but the quality is still very good hahaz. But this is analogy is without  evaluation, ok maybe a bit but still not enough~
Cute but mature girl: three sided fur coat. One side is colour of rainbows and baby blue skies dipped in sunshine. Another side is leopard print. And the last side is only for her ta know.
The supa dupa kind hearted volunteer a.k.a guan yin ma: baby sparrow at the point of almost flying but adding something else that of course i can't think of yet.


Oh yes I bruised my leg when i cycled yesterday. Hurts everytime i sit down!!


Next is ma homegirl: cocktail drink on a railroad track (hahaz very hard to explain so i won't right now) Oh wait! now i'm thinking of a disco ball! hmmmmm~
Camp Commander: a bowl of nicely mixed cake batter, but this is not concluded yet either!
JH (dun know his nickmane): entertainment channel with bad reception occasional. But mostly is very good!
Nika: chili padi plant with pink blossoms. The chili padi can shrink or enlarge one!
Good cycling stamina girl: didn't do her evaluation but who cares! I keep thinking of some kind of bird that falls asleep like snorex but becomes like a puppy when awake...? hahaz maybe i'll get clearer in the future


Yessi i think that concludes everybadae that have been evaluated so far.  I kind of like this htht thing. Hope there's more in the future for me to make up more analogies and maybe i'll do a little draft just for fun hahaz its such a crazy idea anyway.


Well, this concludes episode 1 of analogies with Jenrazer, see ya'll again soon!